Monday, February 24, 2014

The Lord is my portion - a reminder when feeling less than adequate

I'm a Today Show viewer. I used to watch GMA but in the last few years GMA has appealed to me less and less and now The Today Show appeals to me more and more. I don't know what it is exactly. Any morning show viewer typically flocks to one or the other, I suppose. If you're in the GMA crowd, you know, that's cool too. But you would have missed this morning's tag of No Make-Up Monday. It was even suggested that we all just wear our sweatpants all day long during No Make-Up Monday. I'm good with that. I haven't had a day "off" from one job or another since the flu hit us a couple of weeks ago and, since that was no vacation, I'm feeling a little worn out. Sweatpants, a fuss free face (say that five times fast) and a pony tail (I threw that one in myself) sound about perfect to me.

Over on the Proverbs 31 Blog-Hop they're talking about Lamentations 3:22-24, which says...

 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

    therefore I will wait for him.”

This is one of my "go-to" verses as a mom and a teacher of youth. All too often I hear stories of young ladies and young men who are struggling with their identity. They struggle with the things others say to them, or say about them. They struggle with their hair, their face, their pant size. It's in those times that we come to scriptures just like these and revisit the truth that our worth isn't found in the things of this world, in the way other people view us. Our worth is in Christ alone. Because of His love, we don't need to be consumed by the worries of this world. He is faithful - every day - and He alone is our portion.

But it's not just about physical appearance. And when I take a deeper look at myself I see where I truly struggle with allowing myself to rest in the Lord being my portion. I'm just like everyone else, I see my imperfections and sometimes I wish I was different in this way or that way (even my hair or my pant size) but what really breaks me down is when I feel less than adequate. When I don't have enough time to do all that I need to do, or when I don't have enough brain cells functioning to even remember all that I need to do - when I fall short of my expectations or the expectations of others. My glass house can shatter when someone is critical of my actions in the middle of busyness or when someone tells me how they feel about my kids' behavior. We're not perfect. We just aren't. My kids, they run and play and are loud. Being a pastors kid doesn't mean that they are going to just quietly sit still with their hands folded in their laps every waking minute of every single day. They're still kids, they still play. I want that for them. And when I make a mistake - when I forget to print something off, or when I forget to call someone back, I would love for that not to be pointed at me with a wagging finger. I'm trying over here, sincerely. But sometimes it's too busy and sometimes I fall short. We all do. I'm not a spiritual giant, but even if I were, I'm still imperfect me. Most of the time I am ok with that, but in those seasons of critical eyes and finger wags, it can get to be too heavy. And then I have to tell myself the very same things I'm telling the kids -

Your worth is not found in the opinions of others, your worth is found in Christ. He is your portion. When you're running thin, remember that when you rest in His love you will not be consumed by the worries of this world. His compassion, His mercy, His grace - it never fails and is new every day because He is faithful. I say to myself, the Lord is my portion and I will wait for Him. And I say it as many times as I need to say it so that it really sinks into this busy mom's heart. My portion is Him and I am more than blessed.

There I find rest.

Check out other posts related to this topic on the Proverbs 31 Blog Hop!

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  1. Thank you for sharing your heart, Jessica! "...when you rest in His love you will not be consumed by the worries of this world." Yes and amen! :) Great post! Blessings ~ Shelly (OBS Leadership)

    1. Thank you, Shelly. Glad to have been able to share!

  2. Jessica, thank you for your openness and honesty - I think we can all relate to those pointing fingers when we are less than perfect. But you are so right - our worth is found in Christ - and He sees beyond those pointing fingers and those wagging tongues, as He did during his own ministry - He prayed for them - knowing that he was complete in His Father - Praying for you as you continue your journey in MTC (and life) that you will always see yourself and your worth through the Eyes of Love, your Heavenly Father. Blessings sister, Dianna (Group 65)

  3. Thank you, Dianna. Blessings to you as well!